at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Enjoy the penises
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
