Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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