he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my shit smells like andre
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
