Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think weed is turning my hair brown
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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