And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
