Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
