I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
