STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
