Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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