good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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