I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Four minutes until I can fart!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
