You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
