All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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