I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
