I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
