took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
