I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
we're so committed to being not committed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
