where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize