That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
vagina is talking i cant
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
