The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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