I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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