hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize