operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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