Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
