Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
