My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
