Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
nutella sex= disaster
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't deserve a penis
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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