If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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