so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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