The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
