She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
