Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize