My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
