try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
