i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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