Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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