i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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