His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
