you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Bring me that man meat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
