I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You need Xanax blowdarts
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
