woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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