hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
