your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
its liver damage thursday
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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