I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
