When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
