I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
