During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
