Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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