I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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