Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
