Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
