shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize