I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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