Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
