i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
