My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize