do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
