new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
