Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Please don't give away my fajitas
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
