Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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