i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize