I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
