If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
