You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
