I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
